say anything
by AGENT Kuma-chan
Summary: "What are you thinking," Bortz asked and Cinnabar wasn't used to that being a question, to her voice being heard. No, not just heard, desired.


**Title: **say anything

**Characters/Pairings:** CinnaBortz

**A/N:** For the HnK exchange, for red-dia! I hadn't really thought of CinnaBortz before and now I'm left wondering why. They're just really cute. I hope you enjoy it!

**Summary:** _"What are you thinking," Bortz asked and Cinnabar wasn't used to that being a question, to her voice being heard. No, not just heard, __**desired.**_

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1.

"You were about to say something?" Bortz asked, their tone making it sound more like a demand. Just like the gem, each word was said forcefully, as though Bortz could infuse them with power by the very act of uttering them.

Maybe they could. If anyone could, it would be Bortz. Swallowing, Cinnabar stepped back a half-step, a denial already on her lips. "N-no…I…"

"I heard you," Bortz interrupted, never one for nonsense. They stared at Cinnabar and Cinnabar had a feeling of being seen through, of being exposed. Like Bortz could see through all of their fears and doubts.

"I…" Cinnabar trailed off, rubbing their shoulder nervously. "I don't know." It was a half-truth—their mouth had opened earlier, about to refute Sensei's words, deny Sensei's rejection, but just what were they about to say?

Cinnabar didn't know. Cinnabar barely knew themselves.

"Come here," Bortz ordered with a roll of their eyes. Grabbing Cinnabar's tie, they dragged them forward to the rest of the gems. With a disdainful snort, they added "You can figure it out while we come up with a plan."

"I don't—!" Cinnabar protested, but Bortz paid them no mind, still tugging them forward, forcing them to mingle with the other gems.

For once, Cinnabar stood with everyone.

2.

"What is it?" Leaning against the wall, Bortz turned to Cinnabar. As usual, a perpetual scowl was on their face. The only thing different about them was their hair. Their short, short hair.

Cinnabar tried to tear their eyes away from it, from how ragged it looked. Sensei hadn't bothered to trim it properly yet, focused more on cutting it off to repair Bortz's broken limbs. For centuries, Bortz had looked impeccable, and now they weren't.

All because Cinnabar's acid corroded everything it touched. "N-nothing."

If anything, Bortz's scowl grew deeper. Brow furrowed, arms crossed, they glared. "Out with it."

"You-your hair." Cinnabar gestured at Bortz's head, shame colouring their voice. "I'm sorry."

"This?" Bortz snorted, flicking a short lock with a finger. "It's fine. It's just hair."

"But…" _It looked good on you._ And it was strange to think that Cinnabar would never see the long-haired silhouetted of Bortz, to see their locks splayed out during hibernation. To see their hair whirl as they spun and fought. Which brought up an entirely different problem—Bortz used their hair as an extra limb when they battled. "Your fighting."

"My fighting?" Bortz raised a brow before realization dawned on them. With a shrug, they turned back, looking straight ahead. "It'll be fine. If something like this ruined my abilities, then I wasn't a good fighter in the first place."

Cinnabar's brow knit, not feeling particularly relieved. "I should have aimed better."

"It's fine," Bortz repeated shortly, irritation in their voice. When Cinnabar still looked worried, they added with a growl, "Look, you saved me. Alright? You saved me. It doesn't matter how you did it—I'm here because of you. So quit thinking about it, we have more important things to worry about."

"I saved you?" Cinnabar repeated, not sure if they'd heard right.

"Don't make me repeat myself," Bortz snapped, already looking away.

"I saved you," Cinnabar murmured, smiling. They had saved someone. Helped someone.

They were needed and in the end, that was all that Cinnabar had ever wanted.

3.

"Hey. You."

Cinnabar stopped at Bortz's words. It was funny how familiar their voice was becoming these days, how used to it Cinnabar was getting. They were spending less and less time at the cave these days, partially because Bortz kept dragging them out of it, insistent on getting Cinnabar's opinion on things. Turning around, they waited as Bortz marched toward them. "Yes?"

"This plan." Bortz held up a bag with Phos' arm. It was the only way the diamond wouldn't break Phos any further. "You good with it?"

Bemused, Cinnabar cocked their head. "I-I suggested it."

"Yeah, I know that." Bortz rolled their eyes. "It's a good idea. Smart."

Cinnabar smiled bashfully at the compliment. Curling their toes, they tucked a strand of hair behind their ear. "Thanks."

"But are you fine with it?" Bortz continued, ignoring their response. Pointing distastefully at Phos' arm, they added, "You were close."

A clipboard. A promise. It had been centuries, but that memory was still engraved in Cinnabar's mind, of that first kindness, that first sense of companionship. They lowered their eyes, scuffing their shoe on the ground. "Close…I'm not sure."

It wasn't like Phos had talked to them much. It wasn't like Phos had asked for their opinion or met for them outside from the occasional status report.

Close wasn't the word for it.

"I wanted to be," Cinnabar mumbled, finally uttering the words they'd wished they'd said back when Phos was around to hear it. Back when Phos was willing to hear it. "I wanted to be close." To be friends. To be next to one another. To be partners, in every sense of the word.

"I see." And there was no condemnation in Bortz's voice, nor was there any pity. Just a simple understanding, an acceptance of the facts. "Are you fine with this?"

Were they? Cinnabar didn't know. They remembered Phos, attacking sensei, wanting to hurt sensei. They remembered Phos swearing under the moon that they'd find them a job. Cinnabar could feel a tiny part of them crack at the memory, at the loss of what could have been.

Bortz didn't say anything. Even their foot, for once, was not tapping impatiently. They just stared patiently, their expression hard. At one time, Cinnabar had found that face frightening.

Now…not so much. Cinnabar closed their eyes, remembering the tug of a tie. "Yes, I'm fine with it."

They needed time to think, to process.

4.

"They're still not coming," Bortz growled in irritation, their foot tapping the ground impatiently. Arms crossed, they stared up at the sun as though they could will a sunspot to appear.

Cinnabar followed their gaze, looking up at the bright blue sky. Summer had finally come, though poor Euc wouldn't be able to enjoy it much. It wouldn't be long before they started hibernating, preparing for the long winter. With a small smile, Cinnabar teased, "You sound like you want them to come."

"I do. That's the only way to defeat them," Bortz answered shortly, serious to a fault. Did they recognize the playful tone or did it go over their head entirely? Cinnabar wasn't sure how Dia did it all those years ago.

Dia. Thinking of them now, Cinnabar strained to catch a glimpse of the moon. Dia, Yellow Diamond, Pad, and the others—were they still alive? Were they all there, just waiting to be rescued, or maybe they were all like Phos, intent on destroying Sensei and listening to the Lunarians? Did they even know what happened to Phos?

"What are you thinking of?" Bortz asked, still scanning the skies intently. No matter how long they had peace, Bortz was ever vigilant. Even their body was tense, shoulders hunched up, knees locked.

And somehow, they always knew when Cinnabar had a question, a worry, a thought. They pulled out the words Cinnabar was hesitant to breath life into. All those years ago, patrolling the beaches at night, Cinnabar had imagined that this was what a partner was like.

That this was what it'd be like with Phos. A tremor of guilt ran up their spine; they hadn't thought about Phos in decades. The clipboard remained on the cave floor, water-logged and forgotten.

"Do you think about Dia anymore?" Cinnabar covered their mouth. That wasn't the question they wanted to ask, the words they wanted to say. "I-I mean…"

"Dia?" Bortz finally tore their eyes away from the sky, surprised.

Cinnabar nodded. Curiosity bloomed within them and while this wasn't what they were going to ask, they needed to hear the answer.

"Not really," Bortz scoffed, their voice dripping with disdain. "If that idiot wants to be on the moon, then that idiot can stay there."

"T-That's it?" Cinnabar blinked. They had expected rage, perhaps. Not acceptance, however grumpily it was given.

"Yeah, that's it." Bortz frowned. "Why would I spare that idiot any more thoughts than that? Dia made their decision, they can live with it."

Huh. How very simple. How very Bortz like. How very right.

"I guess they can," Cinnabar murmured.

5.

"So?" Bortz asked, inspecting their blade. Even without use, it required maintenance. Or maybe more so because of disuse; since they weren't wielding it, it was easier for the weapons to chip without anyone noticing. "What are you thinking about?"

_You_, Cinnabar almost answered, the syllables stuck in their throat. Somehow, it was hard to say, hard to admit. They had made their decision long ago but it was thing to think it, another to say it.

"Nothing," they lied, keeping firm even when Bortz raised a doubtful eyebrow. "Nothing."

6.

"You," Cinnabar admitted, the words just tumbling out of their mouth as they grabbed Bortz's sleeve. Forcing their partner to a complete stop, Cinnabar repeated, "It was you. I'm thinking of you."

And the words were so brazen, so blunt, but Cinnabar couldn't go another minute without blurting them out to the gem that kept dragging them to the others. To the gem that kept asking for their thoughts, their opinions even when they were worthless.

To the gem that slowly, over the span of decades, started to weave their way into the composition of Cinnabar's minerals, that completely took over their thoughts until Cinnabar couldn't go a day without hearing Bortz's usual commanding tone, without seeing their angry scowl.

"I can't stop," they admitted quietly, almost pleadingly.

Bortz froze and for a moment, Cinnabar feared a rejection. Feared cracking breaking into a million pieces. Then Bortz smirked, pleased, and yanked Cinnabar's tie until they were closer. "About damn time."


End file.
